A loveless' Love Story

Another large wave [or should i call it tsunami] of new boygroups had hit the kpop showbussiness shore this quarter. But what caught m dearest attention was this boygroup who call themselves "Boy Friend". LOL well isnt that ironic? haha, with all the crazy fan girls around kpop, they can now sit back, spazz and call themselves "girlfriends" without sounding arrogant and ambicious >:D

The group consists of 6 Members namely: maknae Minwoo, leader Dong Hyun, vocalists JeongMin and HyunSeung and guess what~ the super identical twins Kwangmin and Youngmin. They all have exeptional good looks. Hmm.... come to think of it, they may be the most goodlooking group on kpop-- so i guess, CN Blue & FTI comes in second & third now in the looks department huh? ooh myyy~

Anyways, members that had taken my eye were Minwoo and bouth the Twins: Youngmin & Kwangmin. It's a Min-ful dreamland. HAHA. and what's surprising is that the three of them are younger than i am... omg! 95-ers? YES! Although the twins may look like perfectly identical duplicates, they are still different in many many ways. Well for starters, Youngmin is blond & Kwangmin has darker hair.

Let's get to the main point.
Last night, i had a dream that kpop artists had a major concert here. Everyone was there; Super Junior, Miss A, Sistar, IU, SNSD, Boyfriend and a lot more. But the shocking thing was... there were barely around 200 people on the feild. Being a hardcore kpop fangirl myself, i immediately stood in the front row with my eyes set on youngmin. Since Boyfriend is a new group, they didnt have much fans. So i was the one who shouts for them. I can see the group's smiles whenever i cheer them on. Just in the middle of the concert, every other fan went back to their seats as if being bored of the whole performance. The atmosphere turned gloomy. WTF, i know! and right then, they had to stop the concert. All the artists exited the stage dissapointed.I ran to the backstage to find boyfriend and cheer them on. When i got there, the only one i saw was Kwangmin.

I hurriedly approached him and introduced my self. He seemed quite happy about having a fan in that small crowd despite being newly debuted. I asked him how he was and how his right hand was [since he had this injury last week during a perf, in real life]. He showed it to me and i held it. [yes, we held hands, hohohoho]. I asked him if it hurt. He said "not anymore". I massaged it while we had a short conversation. He spoke with basic english, but it was enough for me to understand :) I dont remember most of the conversation, but i indeed had fun.

The next thing i knew, i was being woken up by my dearest cousin Chloe. *Sigh*
I just hope that we'd meet in real life, even in just a normal fan signing event or something.

Hello blog, it's been quite a while since i last posted...

(11-19-2010)

Been a while! O:

My day started off fine and hasty. I got off from bed, welcomed with foggy weather. The trees, just about a few meters from our gate, was blurry as the mountains. Another cold fine day i suppose? ... NOT!

Just yesterday, our class had agreed to fine late students, since our adviser, ma'am Maravillosa was getting quite annoyed for always having to fetch tardy AWsome Boyles from the late-line. I hurried to school and departed from our home at around 7:02am praying to reach before the National Anthem. Ma'am Dumadag then announced that the school would end at around 10:00am (Yahoooo!) for the students are required to go to the Capitol Sports Complex that afternoon as support team for the cheer squad competition.

Earlier after waking up, i concluded my day to be fine and cool~ but the opposite occurred. It was damn hot! SIZZLING HOT, ay tell ya! D:

At around 12:45, me together with my 15+ more classmates went on hitch hiking on a red pickup. The person dropped us about 200+ meters away from the Complex entrance since the local PNP had closed the road for safety reasons. We walked for about 5 minutes or more, covering our faces with either our hands or a handkerchief to avoid being stung by the sun. Ah, oh how my afternoon started with dread and moodlessness.

We then arrived at the gate. Mel, Deb and I stopped by the Greenwich booth to buy some coolers and then proceeded to the sitting location at the upper north bleachers.

The competition quite fun as my friends teased the first contenders as Kokey. LOL they had gold hoodies and their costumes resembled aliens? anyway, as our school went off as the second performers, the gym was then engaged with louder cheers. But in the end, they only won the First Runner-up award, next to the contenders with the amazing and costly AVATAR theme.

After the program, Deb, Yzha, BBoi and I were too stung by the sun to even dare to try out the carnival. It was really really hot. So, we decided to stop by a booth for some cold mango shake and water. After waiting for the sun to atleast give itself as second to peak off, we tried riding the Ferris Wheel that went a number of turns a minute. Man it was it fast~ Only two to three people fit one cart. Deb & I went in one and so did BBoi & Yzha, Mel, Pinky & Sarah for the next two carts. As the loud pair Deb and I were, we started yelling as our cart reached its peak and instantly drops down. It was as if our insides were left up there as our physical bodies dropped. ~I dont recomment this for couples, it'll only cause nausea~ LOL

Other rides were still closed and so we tried playing with luck games. I had 4 pesos as starting money. Almost every round i was able to gain the same amount. Yzha was surely the lucky one. For some reason, the color where she bets on wins. That caused a lot of excitement. From a two peso start off, gaining almost 25+ pesos. But I guess her luck reached its peak, leaving a negative income. haha

At around 4:30, the sky started to shed it's tears-- like the usual afternoons. After waiting for the drizzles to stop, we decided to go home at last.

Though we only did a few things around the small carnival, the best part was being able to spend it with my beloved classmates!! *how cheesy can i get? :P

It's been quite a long time since i last posted. Anyways, it's not like there are people who read my online diary~ This is just a place where i store almost all my memories.

July started off with a high kick! -from crossing boarder lines (literally) to being drowned in water.

It never came to mind that i'd be exploring a different dimension, from the environment i'm used to, too soon. From my field of vision, the world has always been about tricycles, jeeps, t-shirts, slippers and barya. Hey~ It's what i see everyday! I've already jumped from island to island, city to city, but never been from a country to another.

XxX

I stepped out of the airplane, continued my walk at the arrival area; got into the elevator and BOOM!, right in front of me were Marcedes Benzs and High-rise buildings; No small houses, no jeeps, no tricycles, just cars and building, (literally luxurious cars and skyscrapers)!

It was as if the world suddenly turned complicated and crazy the moment i stepped on Hong Kong ground; Chinese Characters, Chopsticks, Authentic Plastic Money that never gets old, Fashion, The accent... Ahhh!

I wouldn't have guessed that outside my country's boarders, there stood a city of nightlife, lights & rising economy.

Although i've only spent a few days there, i would still miss the LRT, the chopsticks, disneyland, 2-floor buses, squinty eyes and the pretty looking money they had.

It's been months since I last updated. A lot of things happened during my summer break, but most i consider relentless and boring. I guess going to Palawan and back to Manila were the best parts. I'm still having a hangover whenever i remember the pretty sceneries i saw. Who would've thought my country wasn't actually just about twisted economics, poverty and corruption? I would want to go back to Palawan once again~~ I felt really at ease when i was there. :)

Anyways, I few weeks ago. MY BEAST went to the Philippines to promote themselves. Nuh-uh, not just a normal ol' promotion, but actually having a concert. It never came across my mind that my 'dream' would come here (in my country) any time soon. I've followed the boys since debut and eventually falling head over heels by they're charisma and natural awesomeness.

Universal Music Group PH were the ones who signed them. Deedee was strolling around facebook when she suddenly came across an announcement of a competition for having a chance to meet and greet the boys for FREE. Though of course the venue was in Manila, i am still willing to spend plane tickets by my own expense.

The contest was to submit a video or photo, and the best would be chosen as the winner. Due to my ever so awesome cleaver mind, i started to conceptualize my ideal for the said event.

Is it me or am i becoming vain and really over confident with myself? I tend to put all my expectations high and i think i can achieve everything because I'm a pretty creative person. *See?

I've done a lot of thing and actually achieving success in the long run. When i joined the competition for BEAST, i was really expecting a win. I convinced myself that I did better than others-- Well, until some girl came and submitted something i truly considered a 'threat'. I tried to watched here video, but was only able to finish half of it. I just can't continue to go on, realizing it may be considered a tad bit better than mine. I ignored the obvious.

During those days, i lived under a lie created by own self. Maybe i was thinking that there was no other person better than i am. Oh how arrogant of me~ I feel so embarrassed... i really would want to change that type of perspective i have. I'm looking for something or someone who would be able to remind me of that.

I'm having a hard time for while now. I end up unintentionally pulling other people down with me due to my unreasonable deeds. I seem to end up as a failure at everything i do. The things I'm good at aren't being appreciated and are always underrated, and when it comes to things i lack, i get discriminated.

Why is it that when I do my best, people don't think it is the best since it didn't reach their expectations? Just because I look relaxed doesnt mean I'm not doing anything. I get bad comments when it comes to things I lack. No, i've had it! For some reason, the negative comments given to me are starting to be the cause of me wanting to surrender. I'm not smart, but i have good points too. I can get creative. I can express my thought well. I'm good at that arent I? But why are they being belittled and not appreciated well? That's why I've already given up on the dream of becoming a professional public announcer or a chief editor of some popular magazine or an author, because it is one of the reasons why I feel this way.

I've lost my self confidence, and I'm now just trying to grab hold of the easiest ways for me to claim temporary happiness. I feel a bit at ease posting this entry up on public view, even though I'm not sure if someone ever reads this. Maybe I just want someone to share my current downpour of emotions with. Maybe I just want someone to notice the tears I shed late at night when nobody's looking. I'm clinging onto something invisible. I'm living a life of lie.

I wonder what else is there for me in this world? For a split second, I thought of suicide.

Wow! Time flies super fast. My longest blog entry was from a year ago. I didnt realize that it has been already a year since then. Today we celebrated the official SBO activity for V-day & Unplugged.
The day turned extra topsy turvy due to the awesome activities we had. Nope, not much about L.O.V.E but more of the comedy. JunJun & Yzha represented our class for Baliktaran. The guy dresses up as a girl and the girl vise versa. It was pretty weird seeing a girl with all the muscles and beard, not to mention armpit hair?!! I laughed really hard today-- i still feel tired. But i could probably say that this year wasnt as fun as last year.
There was this love booth where people can sign up two people and they both get handcuffed with each other. I thought no one dared to chase me around school with a handcuff, but i ended up getting chained for over 5minutes with my brother's bestfriend. Ahh ooh well. It wasnt that bad. Sophee signed up Dawn & Darianne, so they both had their lone time with each other for a few minutes.

The day ended up quite well, due to the lively Q&A portion ending! I cant wait till Friday, they'd announce whoever won the contest.

Whewww! time flew so fassst.

I know, i havent been updating for quite a while now [it's not like someone even reads my posts. Oh well]. I havent even noticed that it's already 2010! A lot of stuff happened, and i havent even said a word about it. I'm such a lame blogger. kekeke~

Anyways, i just finished my exams last week. Everything felt so fussy. I crammed for the last minute. LOLZ

UPDATEmyLIFE:
~Claire & Dancy broke up Dx
~Sarah is togethah Deb's Lawrence<3
~Pinky with Erold. Ooh First loves xD
~I'm left here single ♥
~i scored 47 on computer ):
~New Fetish: CN BLUE, F.CUZ, ZE:A
~New Fetish: Bling Bling babehh